25 NBA players who can help you survive a zombie apocalypse

10. Omer Asik

There are a few things at play here. Among the ones of note are the fact that at one point in his life he was a stout defender. Sometimes, in small bursts, he was even the stoutest. He had stoutness for days and miles. In the event of sudden disaster, some of the stout may return.

Also, he has moved teams a few times. Surviving a zombie apocalypse would entail being comfortable moving around quite a bit, whether that be from hidden alcove to hidden alcove, or hanging off a helicopter while moving from base to base. It also means dealing with unhappy situations but still having the courage to carry on.

There’s a motto in survival that takes precedence over everything else, though. I think I saw it on Man Vs. Wild once, right before Bear Grills gutted a palm tree and fried up some tender tree meat.
“You don’t have to outrun the bear. You just have to outrun the guy next to you.”

I am not a professional athlete, but I still think I could outrun Omer Asik. I once outran my dog when I was especially interested in an especially bright tennis ball on the lawn, and I feel I could channel that moment and sprint past a lumbering Turkish Man.

I’m not saying I want to leave Omer behind, but Apocalypses demand sacrifices. Better him than me. Better anyone than me. If you were apocalypsing next to me, I’d tie your shoelaces together and Draymond Green you in the neck.

No hard feelings, though. Best of luck out there. Both teams played hard.