The 10 weirdest NBA timeout entertainment spectacles
8. That’s not a real pizza
We’re still splitting hairs a bit, but the hairs are getting larger. We’ve moved on from fine silk string to maybe something with the diameter of an untangled paper clip.
This isn’t even a display of athleticism. This is playing horseshoes except somehow with even less horse. Why is there no sauce on the pizza? What are they thinking? Why is there no cheese? Cheese is the most important thing in life. Making a pizza without it is like building a basketball team without nepotism. I expect better from the Clippers.
There are more issues to mention here.
- Eat better pizza. Just generally. You can do better.
- The toppings being thrown are not the same. A pepperoni will not fly the same as a hollow green pepper slice or olive. They will not travel through the air the same way, and that’s unfair to the participants. At least put them on a level playing field. I want stats on the most successful toppings.
- There are still fans on the court. They still don’t belong there. Do they look like they’re having fun to you? Even the guy who won seems more confused than happy. Maybe he’s happy to be able to leave.
- This is boring. I don’t care. No one cares. I don’t even think the participants care. Look how little leverage they’re getting from their legs. Look at the lack of rotation on the mushroom. This is haphazard at best, shameful at worst.
- What if that’s actually a normal-sized pizza and the arena and all the people within were shrunk down to make it look giant?
Spooky.