The 10 weirdest NBA timeout entertainment spectacles

3. My body is a temple

Just because mascots are perilously attractive doesn’t mean you can reach out and do whatever you want to their butts.

Three times. Three times this lady smacks the Houston Teddy Bear on his hind parts. It’s inappropriate, especially to be broadcast to an arena full of children and to League Pass owners with recording software on their computer. Nothing good can come of it.

I don’t know what she was hoping to get out of this experience. I especially don’t know what she thought she would get from the third smacking that she didn’t receive from the initial two. Or maybe the first two were just so engrossing that she couldn’t resist going back for one more. Maybe if the mascot had never turned around, she would have been their smacking for all of eternity.

Regardless of her motivations, there is no way to excuse her actions. Physically accosting anyone or anything is not acceptable. There may be a disproportionately-shaped mascot shell, but on the inside beats a real mascot heart with real mascot feelings. How are they going to explain this to their mascot partner? What kind of things are their mascot kids thinking? Are they going to be made fun of at mascot school?

It’s not a simple smack. It’s never that simple. If you’re making me feel bad for a mascot, you’ve done something incredibly wrong. Next time you think about being rude to mascots, put yourself in their skin.

No, no, I didn’t mean it. NO

PLEASE