NBA Tank Rankings — it persists

3. Philadelphia 76ers

Four of the five stages of grief are flipping off Bryan Colangelo. It’s not about whether he deserves it, more that emotions are tricky to sciencify real good. But facts are facts. As Elisabeth Kübler-Ross wrote “You treat Embiid with kid gloves all year then have him play with an injury? Why? And what was the deal with Ben Simmons’ original timetable? Don’t lie. Stop lying. If you’re tanking, just say you’re tanking. This is the process, except it got gift-wrapped in wet newspaper and smashed in shipping. Nice work, you clowns. God.”

With no Embiid, no Simmons, and yes Okafor, the 76ers are primed for another sprint to the bottom. Once you get past Saric, who should at least elicit a passing “woo hoo,” there is not a lot to be excited about. Embiid will get to tweet more, which is nice, but I prefer watching him play basketball.

Maybe one can cheer for Philly’s erstwhile big man Nerlens Noel to be a monster in Dallas and propel the Mavs into the top-12. Then Philly gets another asset. But that would be unlikely, and probably painful in a different way. If Noel could take the Mavericks to that kind of record, it’d be further proof that assets are only as valuable as the people who control them.

What’s there to investigate here? Rage is too little. Ennui is kind of boring. The Process was a fun experiment, but status quo was favored over intellectual curiosity. Now there’s nothing. Just nothing.