Top 25 NFL mustaches of all time

Jul 30, 2016; St. Joseph, MO, USA; Kansas City Chiefs head coach Andy Reid talks to media after the Kansas City Chiefs training camp presented by Mosaic Life Care at Missouri Western State University. Mandatory Credit: Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports
Jul 30, 2016; St. Joseph, MO, USA; Kansas City Chiefs head coach Andy Reid talks to media after the Kansas City Chiefs training camp presented by Mosaic Life Care at Missouri Western State University. Mandatory Credit: Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports /
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Sep 1, 2016; Minneapolis, MN, USA; Los Angeles Rams head coach Jeff Fisher looks to the referees during a challenge in the fourth quarter in the game with the Minnesota Vikings at U.S. Bank Stadium. The Vikings win 27-25. Mandatory Credit: Bruce Kluckhohn-USA TODAY Sports
Sep 1, 2016; Minneapolis, MN, USA; Los Angeles Rams head coach Jeff Fisher looks to the referees during a challenge in the fourth quarter in the game with the Minnesota Vikings at U.S. Bank Stadium. The Vikings win 27-25. Mandatory Credit: Bruce Kluckhohn-USA TODAY Sports /

13. Jeff Fisher

As he is with his emotional support animal dog, also named Jeff Fisher, former Houston/Tennessee Oilers/Tennessee Titans and St. Louis Rams/Los Angeles Rams head coach Jeff Fisher needs his signature mustache to do 7-9 BS every fall.

You don’t tie Dan Reeves for most career losses as a head coach if you don’t have the mustache to back it up. Sometimes it becomes part of a goatee. Other times, Fisher kicks back and likes to let it beard out. While he tends to have other parts of his face, the ‘stache is an ever present reminder of 7-9 BS.

From when he was a blazing punt returner for USC Trojans and the Chicago Bears (no, seriously Fisher was really good at that) to the years hovering around .500 in the NFL as a head coach, that mustache of Fisher’s was the gold standard of mustaches.

It didn’t change, it was tight and it was menacingly delightful all at the same time. As Fisher would age, the ‘stache would get more than a touch of gray, but it still looked sharp as it ever was. Add in the slicked back hair and the pair of shades to match, Fisher was the NFL equivalent of Barry Melrose we didn’t know we missed until right now. We NEED Fisher on fall Sundays, stat, NFL.

The mustache. Man, that ain’t no 7-9 bulls**t.