10 athletes we wouldn’t mind driving across the country
By John Buhler
3. P.K. Subban
He might stink like the gnarliest catfish you could ever hope to dredge out of the Cumberland River, but you know for sure that P.K. Subban will be bringing the Listerine as you take him across international lines from Nashville to Montreal.
Subban loves playing for the Predators in Nashville, but does have to go up to his native Quebec sometimes. He couldn’t get a flight out of Nashville this time because the Country Music Awards are going on and Dolly Parton is throwing a parade from Opryland to Broadway. Traffic is horrible, but it still looks better than Vanderbilt’s football history.
As you head north to Canada, Subban teaches you everything you need to know about hockey. It’s cool, he already just did that in teaching Tennessee Titans quarterback Marcus Mariota what offsides is. Mariota didn’t know what snow was, just liquid sunshine when he played college ball for the Oregon Ducks.
All the while, you and Subban are enjoying the occasional swish and spit of Listernine. You didn’t know there were that many flavors, but you’re trying every last one of them because that NHL money doesn’t pay like that Listerine money.
Once you see your first Tim Horton’s on the way to Montreal, you start to realize that this magical Uber experience with P.K. will end soon. Just like how you’ll forget about the unforgettable 2017 Stanley Cup Finals, Subban soon forgets about that Uber ride. You didn’t know enough hockey stuff for him to remember you. At least he tipped, but he did leave a rotting catfish carcass in your trunk.