15 Canadian things America should trade for to form a pop culture super team

1. Sending Bieber to a nice farm upstate for Celine Dion

This isn’t quite a trade, at least not in the traditional sense of the word. And we certainly don’t want to do harm to anyone, be it Bieber or the Canadian people.

But, let’s face it, Canada – Bieber’s public image has suffered a bit in recent years. He’s gone from teen heartthrob to, well, a former teen heartthrob with some very awkward public relations incidents under his belt. Shall we send him back to Toronto, then?

Celine Dion, meanwhile, has become our favorite wacky aunt with boatloads of money. Yes, Celine herself has had some weird PR in her past. Then again, who wouldn’t with a career that spans decades and continents alike? Celine, who is quite possibly the most Québécois person you’ll meet outside of Quebec, has managed to stay firmly ensconced in pop culture. Given her powerhouse of a voice and indelible stage presence, it’s not hard to see why.

Plus, with her residency in Las Vegas, she’s already living on American soil. Oh, and my fellow U.S. citizens? I know you may be giving me some serious side-eye, but check out Celine’s recent goth Mario look and tell me that your heart hasn’t softened at least a bit.

So, Canada, I propose that we send Justin Bieber to a nice, quiet farm somewhere in the Catskill Mountains. He can work on, I don’t know, baling hay and speaking softly to animals while giving Canada a bit of distance. Meanwhile, we get to claim Celine Dion as our own and lavish her with more extravagant Vegas shows. It’s a win for everyone.