Fansided

10 people you meet at the first college football game of the season

By John Buhler

August 27th 2017, Allianz Stadium, Sydney, Australia; College Football Sydney Cup; Rice University v Stanford University; Standford Cardinals linebacker Ryan Beecher celebrates with fans after the game; (Photo by Nigel Owen/Action Plus via Getty Images)
August 27th 2017, Allianz Stadium, Sydney, Australia; College Football Sydney Cup; Rice University v Stanford University; Standford Cardinals linebacker Ryan Beecher celebrates with fans after the game; (Photo by Nigel Owen/Action Plus via Getty Images) /
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SEATTLE, WA – NOVEMBER 12: University of Washington band members entertained fans. The ESPN College GameDay crew was on hand for the the game between Washington and USC on November 12, 2016, at the University of Washington in Seattle, WA. (Photo by Jesse Beals/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)
SEATTLE, WA – NOVEMBER 12: University of Washington band members entertained fans. The ESPN College GameDay crew was on hand for the the game between Washington and USC on November 12, 2016, at the University of Washington in Seattle, WA. (Photo by Jesse Beals/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images) /

The Distinguished Alumni

Sir Something Something the Third is a proud and most distinguished alumni of this university. While nobody can point him out in a crowd, he looks like another 60-year-old guy that wants to enjoy this first football game of the season.

He was a member of the rich kid fraternity in college. His family has been sending members to this school for generations. It’s become a rite of passage to cheer on the Bulldogs, Tigers or Wildcats or whatever on fall Saturdays from their season tickets seats.

Sir Something loves to tell you how important he is. When he’s not doing that as the former chairman of some Fortune 500 company headquartered in this state, his third wife who didn’t even go to the school let’s you know all about his success in life and at the university in the 1960s.

After being embarrassed by the play on the field in Week 1, he calls up his booster friend and tells him that it’s time to be looking for a new head coach. Sir Something and Third Wife are largely disgusted by how the fans of his alma mater are taking the loss. Too bad he’s already donated $1.25 million to fund a new student union in his name — the groundbreaking ceremony is only 90 days out.

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