Kyrie Irving may have been definitely taunting LeBron possibly

It’s hard to be certain about anything these days. What shape is the earth? Were the willing passes an aberration? Was Kyrie Irving taunting LeBron?

Kyrie Irving has given us many questions to ponder this morning. Let’s keep it all simple by bringing it back to a cliche zen exercise. If a disgruntled tree falls in an angsty forest while waving its arms for attention, does it make a sound? No, because a tree falling requires gravity, and gravity doesn’t operate on a plane. It’s drawn toward a central point of a spherical mass and therefore requires a third dimension that the tree doesn’t seem to believe exists.

That’s unfair. It’s possible that Kyrie didn’t buy into that flat earth stuff and just wanted attention. Well, he has attention now. To quote the band Gatsbys American Dream “I didn’t find you, you found me. I hope you got what you wanted.” I’ve always wanted to quote the band Gatsbys American Dream.

Now that we’re looking at Kyrie’s words and face, it only makes sense that our gaze will travel upwards a couple inches to the things he wears on his head.

In Kyrie head placard news:

A commentary on how the efficacy of ideas is not beholden to the sheer number of people who ascribe to them? Sure. A shot at LeBron because he felt that only LeBron got attention in Cleveland and Kyrie wants his time to shine? You can be the judge of that. Free will is awesome.

What a hat. What a day.

I don’t know where things go from here, but I’m expecting that when the regular season starts, Kyrie will begin wearing bigger and bigger hats until he comes to media availability with a bearskin adorned with a grand postmodern paragraph about how knowledge is unknowable and what we see is only what we see and not what is.

Next: The 20 different emotions of Gregg Popovich

Do hats even exist? Do we?

Yes.