Every NBA team’s worst Thanksgiving road trip companion
L.A. Clippers: Austin Rivers
This choice is less about what I think being around him would be like and more to do with the kind of person I think I’d end up becoming around him. I try not to be mean to people. I try to bring more happiness into the world than I take out. For example, earlier today I held the door open for some squirrels.
But I don’t think I could maintain that while being stuck in a car with Austin Rivers. It’d be too much fun to poke or prod. I don’t think he’d care, but I’d do it anyway. Later in the day when I wrote about it in my livejournal, I’d probably do it in a somber tone.
“Dad said I could drive.”
“No, Austin. This is my car, and all you ever do is drive.”
“No fair.”
“You think it was fair that you got a massive contract just because your dad is the coach and the GM?”
“I earned that money.”
“Sure you did. You also got a better deal because you’re on the family plan.”
“Shut up.”
“I’m kidding, Austin. Maybe that’s the proper amount for you to get paid, but who else was going to pay you that? Do you have any other relatives in front offices?”
“My dad’s a doctor.”
“Hey, do remember your rookie season? When you had maybe the worst year anyone’s ever had in the history of the NBA? Do you remember that? That was pretty fun, right? Do you ever think about doing that again? Just for kicks?”