Fansided

Every NBA team’s worst Thanksgiving road trip companion

By Matt Rutkowski

Indian commuters (R) wait for a bus next to heavy traffic on a smoggy morning in New Delhi on November 14, 2017.Doctors declared a public health emergency in New Delhi when choking smog descended on the capital and elsewhere in northern India, prompting authorities to close schools, ban construction and bar trucks from entering the city. / AFP PHOTO / DOMINIQUE FAGET (Photo credit should read DOMINIQUE FAGET/AFP/Getty Images)
Indian commuters (R) wait for a bus next to heavy traffic on a smoggy morning in New Delhi on November 14, 2017.Doctors declared a public health emergency in New Delhi when choking smog descended on the capital and elsewhere in northern India, prompting authorities to close schools, ban construction and bar trucks from entering the city. / AFP PHOTO / DOMINIQUE FAGET (Photo credit should read DOMINIQUE FAGET/AFP/Getty Images) /
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CLEVELAND, OH – NOVEMBER 5: Derrick Rose
CLEVELAND, OH – NOVEMBER 5: Derrick Rose /

Cleveland Cavaliers: Derrick Rose

It’s hard to decide who I dislike more between Derrick Rose the basketball player and Derrick Rose the person.

I don’t want to hear his thoughts on his next max contract that’s never coming. One of the most baffling moments last year was hearing that Rose was expecting over twenty million dollars in the coming season. His mind exists pretty far from reality.

I don’t want him to promise to bring chips and some soda for the car ride only to not show up at all. If I can’t trust him to attend every NBA game, can I really trust him to be present on a road trip? Maybe I’d be better off for it, but that’s beside the point.

I don’t want to hear any rumblings about his role on the Cavaliers after Isaiah Thomas returns. There are many people in the world who still think it’s 2010 and that Derrick Rose will be in MVP form at any moment. Derrick Rose, I believe, is one of those people. What he does now is run really fast at the hoop and then miss a layup. It’s infuriating. If he starts mentioning his history of success or whatever as a counterpoint to Isaiah’s inspiring story, I might vomit on the steering wheel.

I don’t want to hear anything about how he spends his time off the court. Having to testify in court would just be a pain.

I don’t want any of this. I’d rather whatever malaise has fallen over the Cavaliers to stay far away from my car, and I can’t think of anyone I’d like to have infect me less.

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