NBA Trade Deadline 2018: 5 fun LeBron James trades he would never agree to

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CLEVELAND, OH – JUNE 7: LeBron James #23 and J.R. Smith #5 of the Cleveland Cavaliers high five during the game against the Golden State Warriors in Game Three of the 2017 NBA Finals on June 7, 2017 at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland, Ohio. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 2017 NBAE (Photo by: Noah Graham/NBAE via Getty Images) /

4. That Utah nightlife

I’ve been to Cleveland. It was the worst “vacation” of my life. There is one trash can in the entire city. I’m not exaggerating. They don’t even have magnets or postcards in Cleveland because they figure no one would want to show off their trip to Cleveland.

But LeBron loves Cleveland because he was born in Akron, which is less than an hour away. Basically, he was forced to love Cleveland. Had he been born in Homestead, Florida and drafted by the Heat, he would not have left Miami for Cleveland in the summer of 2010. He would have gone to the Lakers. Just kidding. The Lakers never get the big name free agents they are rumored to get.

All of this is to say, the Cavaliers should trade him to Utah.

Utah is a nicer city than Cleveland, but there is nothing to do. If you don’t enjoy skiing, you better learn how to enjoy skiing. Just don’t pizza when you’re supposed to French fry.

To entice LeBron to accept this trade, the Cavaliers have include Dwyane Wade and J.R. Smith. Close your eyes. Now open them. Because you can’t read what I’m about to type if your eyes are closed. A reality show with LeBron, Wade, and J.R. where they discover Utah. It’s called “J.R. Smith in Utah (Ft. LeBron James and Dwyane Wade).” It lasts approximately one minute and 13 seconds. That’s how long it takes a local to name all the parks before J.R. Smith walks away, cursing.

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