Fansided

10 crazy ideas to liven up NBA All-Star Weekend 2018

By Matt Rutkowski

NEW ORLEANS, LA - FEBRUARY 18: (L-R) Future, DJ Khaled and ASAP Ferg perform at DJ Khaled and Friends at The House of Blues on February 18, 2017 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Thaddaeus McAdams/FilmMagic)
NEW ORLEANS, LA - FEBRUARY 18: (L-R) Future, DJ Khaled and ASAP Ferg perform at DJ Khaled and Friends at The House of Blues on February 18, 2017 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Thaddaeus McAdams/FilmMagic) /
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LAS VEGAS, NV – MARCH 12: A general view of the Fresno State Bulldogs fans after rushing the court as they celebrate with the team while cutting down the net after defeating the San Diego State Aztecs during the championship game of the Mountain West Conference basketball tournament at the Thomas
LAS VEGAS, NV – MARCH 12: A general view of the Fresno State Bulldogs fans after rushing the court as they celebrate with the team while cutting down the net after defeating the San Diego State Aztecs during the championship game of the Mountain West Conference basketball tournament at the Thomas /

5. All 24 players play at once

I’m tired of people talking about floor spacing. “Hey. Hey, look at me. I’m the Warriors. Look how all my great shooters force the defense to guard further away from the basket allowing open lanes for cuts and passes within the three point arc. Oh yes. I’m so important and great. Look at me. #DubNation #WellActuallyItWasReallyBraveOfDurantToComeHereBecause”

Tired of it.

So no more, I say. Every player is now to cram onto the court so we can see what happens When just about every inch of floor has a body on it. I’m picturing a mosh pit, but with uniforms and height.

It might surprise us. Maybe there will be a sort of touch-pass game going on, like when people put beach balls in the crowd at a concert and people just boop it about in a playful fashion. These men are professionals, so if they’re booping a basketball they’re probably doing it with direction and intention. They can make it work.

More likely than that though it will be a bunch of people bumping into each other and rolling their ankles. That’s fine too. The only way these millenials are going to toughen up their ankles is by making them do things they weren’t built to do like turn 180 degrees or do trigonometry. Back in the 80s, people cut off their feet, and that was good. It was good that that happened.

Anyways, this also gives a better shot at an accidental moment of crowd surfing, and that would make a heck of a still shot. Let’s consider this a favor to Jeff Getty who owns all pictures.

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