Fansided

What each NFL coach’s everyday job would be

By Andrea Hangst

SEATTLE, WA - DECEMBER 17: Head coach Pete Carroll (L) of the Seattle Seahawks is congratulated by head Coach Sean McVay of the Los Angeles Rams at CenturyLink Field on December 17, 2017 in Seattle, Washington. The Rams beat the Seahawks 42-7. (Photo by Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images)
SEATTLE, WA - DECEMBER 17: Head coach Pete Carroll (L) of the Seattle Seahawks is congratulated by head Coach Sean McVay of the Los Angeles Rams at CenturyLink Field on December 17, 2017 in Seattle, Washington. The Rams beat the Seahawks 42-7. (Photo by Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images) /
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MINNEAPOLIS, MN – FEBRUARY 03: NY Giants Head coach Pat Shurmur poses for photographs on the Red Carpet at NFL Honors during Super Bowl LII week on February 3, 2018, at Northrop at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, MN. (Photo by Rich Graessle/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)
MINNEAPOLIS, MN – FEBRUARY 03: NY Giants Head coach Pat Shurmur poses for photographs on the Red Carpet at NFL Honors during Super Bowl LII week on February 3, 2018, at Northrop at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, MN. (Photo by Rich Graessle/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images) /

Pat Shurmur: Amazon executive

New York Giants head coach Pat Shurmur is blandly businesslike, vaguely non-threatening but yet has a haircut that screams, “You’re the broke one!” All of which adds up to Shurmur being well-suited to some kind of corporate role for retail behemoth, Amazon. He’ll smile while talking up the importance of small businesses, yet present his shareholders with cutthroat plans to undermine any company that dares try to sell anything under Amazon’s sphere of influence.

Shurmur would make a good public face for Amazon, while not giving much serious thought to what anyone truly thinks of him, his work or his company’s impact. He’s a stone-cold corporate killer.

Jason Garrett: Megachurch pastor

With a megawatt smile, experience working in a giant, expensive building and the ability to make everyone wonder just why he keeps his job at the very same time engendering a surprising amount of loyalty from the man upstairs (a.k.a. Jerry Jones), Dallas Cowboys head coach Jason Garrett could have a very long, lucrative career as the head of an American megachurch.

What does he do, exactly, to earn all that money?