The Kings are going Rudy in their search for netminding

Ever wanted to play in the NHL? Well, now’s your chance, as the Los Angeles Kings are holding open tryouts for the position of emergency goaltender. Let the hilarity ensue.

If the above statement sounds like a fever dream pulled directly out of a sports film and/or television show, you’d be right. Being granted the opportunity to live out a lifelong wish of making the bigs — whether it’s football, baseball or any other top-notch circuit — is the stuffing that holds the shape of Hollywood’s skin.

It’s also ripe for comedy gold. Sure, we could go the “accountant makes good and lives out wild fantasy” angle, or search for the dude who’s taking this tryout way too seriously while living the Mark Wahlberg cuckoo’s nest routine (which includes a 90-minute shower, 13 seconds of golf, sleeping on a bed of nails and about 486 trips to the fridge for snacking).

That sounds about what the Los Angeles Kings are looking for, right? Someone strong, with years of experience. Built like the lightning bolt of Zeus and can throw a trolley into the opposing net?

Nah. Really, the Kings are looking for you. Yeah you, guy sitting on the couch wearing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shirt that has spaghetti stains from ’91.

If you live in Los Angeles, have ever played college hockey before and are over 18 with a conscience that often lulls you into awful and embarrassing decisions, go ahead and sign up here. There’s no age cutoff specified, meaning we fully expect a bunch of 49-year-old beer leaguers to make this a pilgrimage in the hopes of attaining Vince Papale status.

Our hope? That that this is filmed and added to an end-of-season Kings DVD, and not simply footage that Drew Doughty shares with his buddies on a Wednesday night while laughing about how he went Fulton on some poor Goldberg of a goaltender. Also, as many others are going to note, Milhouse is absolutely available whenever.