5 reasons why Baron Corbin will win at WrestleMania

4.  Because in reality, he should

Let’s set up a scenario:

There is going to be a wrestling match between two competitors, not an amateur-style wrestling match, but one where strikes are allowed, in a large roped ring, where you can run to build momentum or escape as needed, and you can also jump off structures for more impactful attacks. There are also all sorts of tools under the ring that can be used as weapons if you’re tactful enough not to get caught by the official, who is often so fragile that he could be rendered temporarily unconscious by a zealous zephyr. In this match, in order to win, you need to have the official count your opponent pinned for a three count.

There are two contestants in this match: Contestant A and Contestant B.

Contestant A: 34 years old. Billed at 6-foot-8-inches and 285 pounds. He’s a former Golden Gloves boxer who went on to play in the NFL before he was cut for allegedly throwing hands in practice. He moves quickly and strikes fast and hard. He’s notoriously nefarious and does not care for the rules. And, as a matter of fact, until recently, he made the rules.

Contestant B: 50 years old. Billed at 6-feet and 237 pounds. He’s a two-time NCAA wrestling National Champion and Olympic gold medalist in freestyle wrestling. He’s won every title imaginable that can be awarded for the type of wrestling match Competitor A and B are having, but most of that was done 13 years ago. He moves like a 50-year-old man who’s been slammed on mats by professional athletes for the better part of 30 years. He advocates integrity.

Contestant A is Corbin. Contestant B is Angle.

Contestant A is going to likely get charged with quinquagenarian abuse come Sunday.