Oregon State becomes instant Pac-12 title contender with D.J. Uiagalelei

By landing D.J. Uiagalelei in the transfer portal, Oregon State has just become an instant Pac-12 title contender.

After a 10-win season with less-than-stellar quarterback play, Oregon State has successfully landed D.J. Uiagalelei in the transfer portal.

Though briefly rumored to be going to Hawaii, DJ U is not going be a sexy hamburger or an Irish R&B singer. Fogell will not care, so long as he becomes an Oregonian organ donor. Without question, this is the best thing to happen to Oregon State sports since Adley Rutschman went No. 1 overall to the Baltimore Orioles. He may bleed Old Bay seasoning now, but DJ U is a Beav, baby!

Look at this simply and undeniably majestic Beaver in all of his newfound Oregonian glory!

The Strife Aquatic just got even more interesting with D.J. Uiagalelei transferring

What is so civil about war when you’ve got Brothers Uiagalelei competing in The Strife Aquatic? Trust me. This rivalry game nickname will catch on, just like fetch, or until it becomes sponsored by a Los Angeles rock band to become The Guns ‘N Roses Bowl where the winner is handed a candle by W. Axl Rose in the cold, November Rain. Slash and Duff McKagan will have never been prouder…

Truthfully, this move by the Beavers rocks harder than Les Claypool slapping the bass, mon, for Wynona, possibly even for Winona Rider. Stranger Things have happened in Corvallis, such as Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson and T.J. Houshmandzadeh winning Fiesta Bowls before transforming the Cincinnati Bengals seemingly overnight. Just ask Jonathan Smith about his greatest year in school.

Rampant Beaver joke shenanigans aside, Oregon State is about to be dam good next season. They just won 10 games in a year where quarterback play was kind of a persistent issue. Chance Nolan hit the portal, while Ben Gulbranson kind of did some good things in the final two-thirds of the season. Even though the Pac-12 has become the conference of sloppy seconds, it is not that bad!

The top half of the conference is elite, and Oregon State should definitely remain a part of that. While Oregon, USC, Utah and Washington all return proven starters, Oregon State now has a guy who can hold a candle in the cold November Rain vs. one Oregon Duck who is never going to beat Georgia in his life. Remember: God is an Auburn fan as he cries the Liquid Sunshine from up above.

Ultimately, it is going to be contingent on Uiagalelei really tapping into that five-star potential he had coming out of high school. He never really even approached that level of promise at Clemson. Fortunately, he will now play for one of the best coaches you have never heard of in Smith. If he can lead the Beavers to the Rose Bowl, all Clemson sins will be forgotten by all but Dabo Swinney.

Oregon State is officially the offseason’s version of 2021 Iowa State, but this candle burns bright!

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