College baseball umpire makes Angel Hernandez look like a saint (Video)

Angel Hernandez, MLB. (Photo by Mark Blinch/Getty Images)
Angel Hernandez, MLB. (Photo by Mark Blinch/Getty Images) /

College baseball world is in utter shambles after this Angel Hernandez-inspired catastrophe.

Let’s erect an Angel Hernandez statue and put it right in the middle of the New Orleans Privateers’ baseball stadium.

Hernandez is the patron saint of absolute nonsense behind the plate. He’s not good at his job, but I’m in the content business, so he is crucial to me caring about baseball outside of the Atlanta Braves. People hate him, but haters gonna haters. Clearly inspired by the home plate stooge buffoonery of St. Angel, look at what this zebra did to make a mockery of Mississippi Valley State!

The only logical explanation on the two worst called strikes you will ever see is he had to poop.

He totally had to poop, as the man did not break stride as he ventured into the stadium’s bowels.

College baseball umpire makes Angel Hernandez look good

Look. I have issues with authority, but I despise people who poop on company time. Unless you work at home, then welcome to the poop party! If you can’t make it merely feet away from where you work, you’ve got issues. But having to quite literally work out in the field, you just gotta get your stuff together, bruh. Gym, tan, laundry and pre-game dumps. Just do it and you’ll be alright.

But when it’s pushing 10 o’clock p.m. in very late winter and you’re sweating like Brendan Fraser playing hoops before he turned into a whale, we know you didn’t take care of business. “But I don’t like coffee!” “You can just shut up!” These kids are living out a dream playing college baseball with their best friends and you just took a big Dookie in the urinal to ruin everyone’s weekend, umkay?

This isn’t some God-Tiered Dookie Excellence like the Utah Utes marching band playing an absolutely tremdous version of Basket Case in the Rose Bowl before they lost it for a second time in a row. This was a man thinking he was clever by shortening the game before losing a couple of pounds. Frankly, he would have been better served having an accident than going viral on Twitter.

Overall, you get what you deserve making a mockery of competition. Life is hard, man. So let us have sports to bring us together and briefly forget about some other very important issues. The fact the batter did not strike him with his Easton is kind of beyond me. The Delta Devils aren’t going to Omaha now because somebody important decided to be the king of his porcelain domain.

If Scott Hanson can make it nine hours without peeing, then you can make it nine innings just fine.

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