What made baseball fun this week: Elly De La Cruz is the best thing to happy to Cincinnati since Joe Burrow

The Dude of the Week, man: Elly De La Cruz is basically baseball diamond Joe Burrow at this point

Guess what? Like Bill Belichick, we’re onto Cincinnati. Not since Albert Breer was doing Albert Breer things in Columbus have the Reds been this fascinating. As with Breer’s reporting, I don’t know if it’s true, but I dig the vibes and what he’s mostly about. Speaking of vibes, have you seen this Elly De La Cruz guy for the Reds? He’s doing more the local economy than Joe Burrow or P&G.

Why get gear or other financial contributions when you can meet the next greatest Reds phenom?

I’m not sure if De La Cruz will be as holy as Joey Votto is on the TikTok, but they can totally learn from each other. As expected, I’m getting massive Gryffindor vibes from De La Cruz as I always have with Votto. Do you think they could open the Chamber of Secrets together, as in crack the code of making it into the NL postseason? I got that snake in me, so all you gotta do is ask, bruh.

Big Snake Energy be damned, I’m not a fool like Gilderoy Lockhart. I may be as useless as he is at everything but charms and having smashing good looks, but I’m not the dumbest Ravenclaw to ever walk god’s green earth either. I don’t need a Thom Brennaman apology if I’m proven to be right in this. Outside of the Elder Wand Bryce, De La Cruz is my pick to win NL Rookie of the Year.

If Tara Reid’s American Pie boyfriend could do it, then why not cross our hearts for De La Cruz?

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