What made baseball fun this week: Braves in the infield, Angels on the IL

The Atlanta Braves’ infield certainly made baseball very fun this week, while the Los Angeles Angels have lost their heads and have no place to hang their halos no more, bruh!

Making sense of all the nonsense baseball gave us this week through pop culture references!

It’s hot as s**t outside, but hey, we still gotta make baseball fun this week, anywho…

Even though we will be deprived of baseball games that count here in a few days, we just celebrated America’s birthday the other day. Let’s be real. Everything that happened before July 4, 1776 was a mistake. While we all have the toes that we have, some people like Ron F*****g Swanson have as many as an MLB game has innings. Did you eat your red tube meat on the 4th?

My boss HATES tube meat more than Peter King hates watching people eat hot dogs. For some people, Joey Chestnut is an American icon. To King, he is the epitome of gluttony. Truth be told, I want to grow up to be that grandpa who ate seven f*****g hot dogs on Labor Day, but I want people to talk to me again, so I will refrain from soiling myself. I am living the American Dream!

But it was all a dream! I didn’t use to read Word Up! magazine, mostly because I don’t know where to find a copy. It’s all good, baby, bay-bay! Or that was the case until I saw the internet turn Bill Hader into a meme, just like that hot dog suit guy. Like Bill Hader, most people don’t know what his name is, but Alan all, it’s all the same! His sweet dance moves do Hypnotize me, Biggie!

I don’t know when the next time I’m going, going, back, back to Cali, Cali will be, but Mo Money Mo Problems should be the tagline for the Los Angeles Angels. As for the Atlanta Braves, we’re going to need a golden calculator to divide how many times Alex Anthopoulos got the best of baseball. I know I’d like to thank our s**t don’t stank, but let’s be real. Our Roses smell like roses!

May the segments not burn your skin like the Big Hard Sun or blow your hands off like a Firework!

These segments are hotter than Hansel right now, to be totally honest, bruh!

• But what about the fans???
• Hot cleats, Gatorade baths
• Oh, my god. We’re having a fire … sale!
• The Dude of the Week, man

But what about the fans???: I don’t think you should leave. In fact, let the hot dog suit guy throw out all the first pitches for the Detroit Tigers for the rest of time!

Look. I’m gonna be totally honest with y’all. I don’t watch a lot of TV, but when a dude becomes a meme because he’s wearing a hot dog suit, you have my undivided attention, good sir! Are Tim Robinson and Joey Chestnut one and the same? I mean, we are clearly living in a simulation, so it wouldn’t shock me in the slightest. Who else would field a Detroit Tigers lineup quite like this one?

Clearly, skipper A.J. Hinch was too busy getting Hot and Readys to actually name his players, aight.

Until the Tigers are good again, they should be Major League Baseball’s test market of sorts. The Columbus, Ohio of the big leagues, if you will. May the Tigers embrace all the weirdness of minor-league ball, from sunrise to sundown. I mean, they are ones with Hockeytown. Even if the Red Wings are just as sorry as they are, it doesn’t mean we can’t get loaded on hot dogs and light beer.

When you fill out a lineup card that looks like my itinerary before I go and spend an ungodly amount of money at Publix, you have my respect. The only way this lineup card could have been filled out better is if Key and Peele were in charge of it. The biggest question is would Fudge be stationary over at first base or saddled behind the plate? Hingle McCringleberry is in shambles…

Quackadilly Blip is to burgers as Coznesster Smiff is to fries. But what is to Bismo Funyuns?

Oh, my god. We’re having a fire … sale! | The Dude of the Week, man