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25 NBA players who can help you survive a zombie apocalypse

By Matt Rutkowski

Oct 18, 2016; Columbus, OH, USA; Cleveland Cavaliers forward LeBron James (23) against the Washington Wizards at the Jerome Schottenstein Center. The Wizards won 96-91. Mandatory Credit: Aaron Doster-USA TODAY Sports
Oct 18, 2016; Columbus, OH, USA; Cleveland Cavaliers forward LeBron James (23) against the Washington Wizards at the Jerome Schottenstein Center. The Wizards won 96-91. Mandatory Credit: Aaron Doster-USA TODAY Sports /
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LAS VEGAS, NV - MAY 14: Former NBA player Dennis Rodman attends Sapphire Pool & Day Club to celebrate his birthday on May 14, 2016 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Gabe Ginsberg/Getty Images)
Photo by Gabe Ginsberg/Getty Images /

5. Dennis Rodman

If we’re taking NBA players, we need to get some guys who have been out of the league for a while. These people are no longer defined by how they play, they’ve moved on to life past basketball. They can bring something a bit more worldly.

When I think “wordly,” I think Dennis Rodman. Diplomacy is important. What he’s done with North Korea defies explanation. I mean, it really does. It’s really weird. I don’t think I can quite wrap my head around how weird it is. It’s really weird, right? Anyway, if he can get in on the good-will of a communist dictator, maybe The Worm can get the zombies on his side.

Maybe we shouldn’t fight them. Maybe they’re just misunderstood. Rodman could maybe bridge that gap. At times he’s looked like a zombie himself. He fits in. Maybe we’re the weird ones.
We should at least consider this as an option. Nothing should be off the table during the end of the world. If it’s happened, then clearly the world was on the wrong track in some fashion. This is a chance to reset and maybe move into the future with hand in decrepit hand and smiles on our faces.

And if that doesn’t work, he can kick some things along with Draymond. Rodman has pro wrestling experience as well. And Rodman has tenacity. Whether we’re aiming for peace or we’re aiming for destruction, Rodman is not someone you want on the other side. At least if he’s with you, you can keep an eye on him. It’ll be interesting, if nothing else.

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