Five fictional teams that could challenge the Brooklyn Nets

4. The Charlotte Banshees

Now we move from semi-professional to women’s professional. This is a step up in competition, I think. As far as movie quality goes, it might be a step down. I’m of two minds on this.

On one hand, Juwanna Mann is awful. It’s not a funny movie, the premise is stupid, and the only parts of it that I remember are jokes that I either find offensive or aggravating. On the other hand, suffering sometimes helps one grow.

“Haven’t the Brooklyn Nets suffered enough?” you might ask. “No.” I might respond. “But The Banshees need to suffer some,” I might continue.

I don’t like the lessons this movie taught:

• Cheating is okay.
• Cheating can make you beloved among the people you took advantage of if you cheat for the wrong reasons the right way.
• You can get a second chance at doing what you really want to do if you do something heinous in order to upset your agent and basically blackmail him into helping you.
• Professional basketball leagues medical testing leaves a lot to be desired.

Like Stephen Jackson proved, the NBA’s testing policies are fine. The Banshees won their championship and were for all intents and purposes framed as the good guys. That was the wrong thing to do. They need Sean Kilpatrick to drain some 3s in their face. They need Caris LeVert to jumpstart his career against competition he might have a shot against. The righteous anger of the land of hipsters needs to come crashing through their face. Brooklyn should get that chance.

That said, Brooklyn might still lose.