One Christmas gift for each NFL team

Atlanta Falcons: A strategy guide to beating the 2017 NFC South

For the Atlanta Falcons, let’s try not to bring up 28-3 during the holiday season or that MARTA done screwed up The Weather Channel’s perfect shot of the Georgia Dome implosion. Let’s be real. That place needed to. The only championships that were won there belonged to the Alabama Crimson Tide anyway.

So you’ve got a new spaceship pad next door, which is pretty cool. To be fair, it’s hard to get a gift for the rich kid Falcons. The Home Depot money has treated you very well over the years, so hats off to Uncle Arthur! Since you still have a shot at getting back to the NFC playoffs, here’s your gift: A strategy guide to beating the 2017 NFC South.

Atlanta, you messed up the first time around in Carolina. Julio Jones dropped that pass and Cam Newton celebrated the whole time. It was neat. You do realize, Falcons, that you have five games left in divisional play? Like the awesome socks Auntie gives you, you’ll need this strategy guide.

Those hated New Orleans Saints just don’t lose any more. Newton and the Carolina Panthers will be coming to town soon. Though Jameis Winston ate his hand, his Tampa Bay Buccaneers are on the schedule one more time. If you can use this guide and go 4-0 the rest of the way in NFC South play, you will make the playoffs. Trust me. This strategy guide is fool-proof. You cannot 28-3 this, Falcons.