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One Christmas gift for each NFL team

By John Buhler

JACKSONVILLE, FL - NOVEMBER 12: Quarterback Blake Bortles No. 5 of the Jacksonville Jaguars on a pass play during the game against the Los Angeles Chargers at EverBank Field on November 12, 2017 in Jacksonville, Florida. The Jaguars defeated the Los Angeles Chargers 20-17 in overtime. (Photo by Don Juan Moore/Getty Images)
JACKSONVILLE, FL - NOVEMBER 12: Quarterback Blake Bortles No. 5 of the Jacksonville Jaguars on a pass play during the game against the Los Angeles Chargers at EverBank Field on November 12, 2017 in Jacksonville, Florida. The Jaguars defeated the Los Angeles Chargers 20-17 in overtime. (Photo by Don Juan Moore/Getty Images) /
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After Thanksgiving, it’s all about the holiday season. So let’s give all 32 NFL teams a Christmas gift this year, regardless if they were naughty or nice.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, unless you play in the AFC, then maybe not so much. We ate a lot of turkey and dealt with the worst of our family members. While the really bad ones decided they need to go try to buy a new tv on Black Friday because why?, you started to realize this is the season of giving mid-tryptophan snooze.

We all know that the best gifts this holiday season are kindness, but if your favorite NFL team stinks, well, the NFL Draft is only a few months away. So what we’re going to do is give all 32 NFL teams a gift that they don’t want, but probably need this holiday season.

While a few teams have been really good this year, like the Jacksonville Jaguars of all teams, some have been bad, really bad. How much coal can one possibly give the Cleveland Browns as an organization. The last time they won a game that counted, it was Christmas Eve. Besides, we’re an environmentally conscious at FanSided because we’re digital.

So what are the over/under for number of teams that hate this gift we’re going to give them? 20, 25, 30? Let’s be real the

San Diego

Los Angeles Chargers will appreciate anything we give them because we’re finally paying attention to how kind of okay they are. In the spirit of the holiday, this is what Buhler Claus is going to put under that gaudy, giant Christmas tree at your team’s facility.

Arizona Cardinals: A few more L’s so you get that next franchise QB

The Flip Phone Arizona Cardinals are getting really old really fast. They don’t seem to realize that they can’t T9 their way out of this. Carson Palmer is done at quarterback for them. While this old, old football team still wants to win, just stop and realize you’re trotting Blaine Gabbert out there on fall Sundays.

So come on, guys. It’s over. There are plenty of other cool things you can do on your phone besides playing snake and calling your mom to talk about your problems. This year, here’s what you’re getting. You thank me later, but mostly l’s the rest of the way.

If you finish 5-11 of 6-10, you will be picking in the top-10 of the 2018 NFL Draft, maybe. Regardless, if you’re close to the top 10, you will have an opportunity to trade up and get another better franchise quarterback that is not Palmer.

The truth is, his name will probably be Josh, but you’ll learn to like him like you learned to like Carson and Kurt Warner before him. I would have given you another game with the San Francisco 49ers, but you didn’t learn your listen. You messed up and beat them twice already. Fortunately, you might win one game the rest of the way versus the Fighting Ben McAdoos of the New Jersey swamp.