The ultimate guide to watching the World Cup at work

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YORK, ENGLAND – JUNE 09: A dog wearing the pride colours looks on during the York Pride parade on June 9, 2018 in York, England. The parade made its way through the streets of the city centre before reaching the Knavesmire area of the city where live entertainment was performed for the crowds. York Pride aims to raise awareness of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) issues both in the UK and abroad and seeks to promote equality and eliminate discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation and gender identity. (Photo by Ian Forsyth/Getty Images) /

2. So you’re self-employed and feel guilty not working on your stuff in front of your dog

Dog guilt is real. They guilt you into taking them for walks, giving them extra treats and feeding them food off your plate when the kids aren’t looking because the kids aren’t allowed to. They’re four-legged guilt bags who are adorable.

But they know right and wrong, probably, and they know that you have deadlines you need to hit. They know that Pomodoro Technique has strict guidelines that if you uproot will completely throw off everything you need to get done. Dogs are smart like that, and since every moment is forever to them they understand time management well.

So what do you do? Lock them in a different room? Nope. Their guilt waves can travel through solid matter and will get to you anyway. So now you’ll not only feel the guilt of putting off work, but you’ll feel the guilt of them whimpering through the door. They just want to be close to you. How dare you do that?

Do you just ignore them and pretend they’re not there? No. Because then you’ll be depriving both of you of excellent chances at pets or scratches. It makes you both happier.

Do you feed them excess treats in order to distract them? Heck no. They can’t control themselves, and they’ll get fat, and get arthritis, and it’ll be your fault because you can’t be trusted.

So what options are there? Have cats instead. Three cats are basically a dog, so get a bonus cat or two as well. Don’t get me wrong. Dogs are great, but not during the World Cup.

A dog sitter will also work.