Oh, my god. We’re having a fire … sale! St. Louis has a baseball team probably worse than what it does to food on the reg, outside of T-Rav, of course
I didn’t think anything could be worse for St. Louis sports than Chris Long and William Hayes pretending to be homeless before Stan packed up the bags and moved the Rams to Kroenkeland, but the St. Louis Cardinals are doing about as well as Tommy Callahan selling those really cool brake pads. Clearly, Oli Marmol and the Redbirds are driving with The Other Guys’ brake pads…
You don’t have to scream AMERICA! when you floor it in your Prius, but you also don’t need to fire off a desk pop when you decide to slice a bagel in the most absurd fashion possible. From pizza, to cheese, to pretty much everything else you can think of, St. Louis regularly got it wrong with the exception of suds, baseball and T-Rav. If you have never had T-Rav before, it will change your life!
Don’t go chasing waterfalls, you just gotta find a way to creep, creep back up in the NL Central standings. It’s not like y’all play in the same division as the Atlanta Braves or the Los Angeles Dodgers. Then again, Bed, Bath & Beyond is going out of business, so where in the hell am I going to get my bathmats now, Birdman?! You used to be Batman, just like Prince once was Partyman!