The Dude of the Week, man: Shohei Ohtani is so good at baseball that he almost has the Halos looking like a playoff team, mostly because of his epic greatness
Whenever I see Shohei Ohtani do anything, I feel like I am watching god’s greatest creation in real time. He is as scrumtrulescent as the late Charles Nelson Reilly’s performance as King Llort in A Troll in Central Park. James Lipton was never the same since viewing that cinematic masterpiece, just like I will never be the same after watching Ohtani’s handshake game be this fricking on point!
If you think that Rally Monkey could ever do this, then I don’t even know what to tell you next, bro?
I am hashtag blessed to see the NL equivalent on the reg in La Bestia Ronald Acuña Jr. Ronnie Beisbol is the best thing to ever happen to me. He doesn’t know who I am, so why would he give a damn about this Teenage Dirtbag, baby?! Then again, this closeted Iron Maiden enthusiast makes opposing outfielders Run to the Hills, as the new Number of the Beast, which is clearly 13 now.
All the while, Ohtani has been such a Trooper being in the presence of most-boring Trout and hopeless hapless halo baseball for the better part of my adult life. It’s not a prison sentence, but it’s close. So when I see Ohtani having the time of his life in Angeleno sprawl, I too am reminded that there is beauty everywhere in the world, whether that be strip malls, Jiffy Lubes or ballparks.
The fact the Angels are allegedly above .500 and in the mix for the postseason is simply amazing!