They start at 9 AM EDT, but it’s college football season, so you might as well pop the top. College Gameday brings the tailgate party to your living room, so there’s really no reason why you can’t start the party bright and early. After all, it’s five o’clock in Moscow.
Lee Corso throws on the headgear. Kirk Herbstreit sits their with his immaculate hair and his incredible diction (I’m just kidding it’s Midwestern and muddled, at best). Chris Fowler directs traffic. Desmond Howard does Desmond Howard things. Pollock and Palmer and bears, oh my.
Let’s play the College Gameday drinking game.
P.S. Let it be known, that all rules apply to beer drinkers and must be modified for hard alcohol drinkers. Or don’t… just don’t die, please.
No. 1: Let’s start this off right. If they cold open in black and white, drink til it turns back to color.
No. 2: Every time Lee Corso forgets what he was about to say and looks down at his notes to figure out whatever the stat guys wrote down, take a drink.
No. 3: If they show a clip of Desmond Howard doing the Heisman pose, take a drink.
No. 4: If they mention David Pollack’s neck injury, take three drinks.
No. 5: If they mention Tim Tebow, say prayer, take a drink, say another prayer, take another drink… Tebow.
No. 6: When Kirk Herbstreit isn’t allowed to make a pick because he’s calling a game, take two drinks.
No. 7: If Jesse Palmer is on the screen, the last person to yell “The Bachelor”, take two drinks.
No. 8: If Lane Kiffin hasn’t named his starting quarterback yet, take a drink. If either of the other two quarterbacks play, take two postmortem College Gameday drinks.
No. 9: Johnny Manziel shows up on the screen… wait, wait, wait… don’t drink. You’ll literally die. If Johnny Manziel shows up on the screen and Wright Thompson shows up, or his story is referenced, drink a drink. Just one. For real.
No. 10: Pffffffft. Not so fast my friend. Take a drink.
No. 11: Anybody not so fasts Lee… take two.
No. 12: Lee Corso dons head gear. Finish your beer. Shotgun another if it’s some sort of tiger.
And that commences the College Gameday drinking game. Please drink responsibly, and play weekly if you have weekends off like a normal human being. These rules also apply to the Today Show (or Good Morning America), but if you play daily, you might want to check yourself in.