Nike, please stop with the highlighter colors

By now you probably haven’t seen the new Pro Bowl uniforms the NFL will be trotting out next year thanks to Nike. I say “haven’t” because if you have seen them, you’re probably blind and unable to read this article.

Nike, this obsession with highlighter colors needs to stop.

Listen, I realize that the Pro Bowl doesn’t exactly draw monster ratings. But trust me, people will not flock to their television sets to watch a sloppily played game featuring a team dressed in a color that can only be described as “radioactive alien urine.” There are a lot of ways to spruce up a boring uniform, but adding an electric green so hideous that even the 1980s would blush isn’t one of them.

Since when did looking like a walking highlighter become cool? Whenever I see a team debut that ugly accent color on their uniforms, it screams of desperation. Are they hoping to attract crows? Crows like shiny things. Maybe some marketing guy at Nike forgot the “d” in “crowds” and issued a memo saying teams were worried about not drawing big crows at their games. That’s the only explanation that seems reasonable.

Nike, tinkering with the Oregon uniforms is fine, but that experimentation needs to be quarantined to Eugene. Some of us like having functional retinas, thank you very much.