When you’re David Ortiz, you have to do things on a grand scale. I mean, your own nickname involves the moniker, ‘big’. Small doesn’t cut it. His home runs? They’re massive. His frame? Huge. His slides? Near earthquakes. His celebratory champagne bottle? Big enough to fit a cruise ship inside.
While teammates were dirtying up the Fenway Park clubhouse with cans of beer and normal human sized champagne bottles (as you can see here), Ortiz decided to get a giant golden bottle (which was completely full, at a time) and drowned anybody within range, including himself.
Ortiz was seen guzzling down the fancy drink multiple times, while pouring it over the head of just about anybody he could.
Even more impressive? It’s like the bottle had a reserve tank in it because it just refused to empty. ‘Twas like a waterfall of goodness.
I mean, look at that thing. You could drive a small car through it. Or a Dustin Pedroia. Whatever is closer.