Philadelphia Eagles fan is selling his allegiance on eBay

Dec 8, 2013; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Philadelphia Eagles fans watch the game during the second quarter against the Detroit Lions at Lincoln Financial Field. Mandatory Credit: Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

Do you hate the Philadelphia Eagles? Do you hate the Philadelphia Eagles enough to actually pay to have a random fan renounce his allegiance to the team? If you answered yes, you should probably head on over and bid on this eBay item.

(And then you should probably hit up a therapist for a discussion about priorities.)

In case you can’t follow the link, here is what the seller, Michael, is offering:

I am selling my soul, my love, my conviction, my desire, my loyalty and my allegiance to the highest bidder.  Whomever wins, I will completely and whole-heartedly root, cheer, praise and worship their football team until the end of my days.  This is a risk, but life is short and I want to belong to a team that will win; I must experience it, I must taste it, I must BE it.

Michael describes the item’s condition as “worn, stabbed, abused, degraded, hopeful for a better future.”

So why is this man offering up his allegiance now, when the Eagles are on the verge of making the playoffs? Well, there’s a whole football-allegiance-as-beautiful-but-manipulative-woman explanation that really has to be read to be believed. All proceeds from the auction will go to Michael’s wedding in September 2014, an event at which he promises to wear the gear of the NFL team for which his allegiance is purchased.

The bidding is already up to $10, so act fast!

[Source: CBS Philly]

Topics: Philadelphia Eagles

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  • Dr Muon Funk

    Not a true Eagles fan.

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