The most overly-dissected look at the TUF brawl between Chael and Wand in existence

The most talked-about and thus important thing in MMA right now is the ‘TUF Brazil Brawl.’ We’ve been waiting for years for Wanderlei Silva vs. Chael Sonnen. Ever since Wand confronted Chael in the back of a car about Chael’s trash talking on Brazil.

Wand’s old-school. He’s real. Chael is toeing the line between kayfabe performer and actual fighter promoting his upcoming fight. Unfortunately, Wand just can’t handle it. Subsequently, we were given the first TUF coach throwdown in the history of the show, I think.

Many ran to their handheld devices and booted up Fight Pass to watch this event unfold, but we called upon the Zprophet to grant us a slo-mo replay of the entire event. Let’s dissect this and discuss.

• Wand approaches Chael, neck veins bulging.
• Chael has arms crossed. Negative body language.
• Wand for some reason wants to make Chael flinch, a man who has been in 43 professional fights. He slaps at the air in front of Chael like the meanest 8th grader in the world. Chael looks to parry/answer the phone. Good defense.
• Chael’s body language shows disappointment.
• Wanderlei draws an imaginary line, then crosses it himself in a progressive move.
• Chael puts hand on hip, other hand in a palm out. He just wants Wand to stop.
• Chael’s eyes have a glint of sadness.
• Wand moves ever closer to Chael. It looks like he’s about to start rolling his knuckles.
• Chael looks amicable, then suddenly shoves Wand as Wanderlei moves into striking range.
• Both men square up, Wand fakes a knee? Chael is in flip flops.
• Chael looks to change levels, has quick flashback to the mean streets of West Linn. He’s ready.
• A quick size-up of the situation goes down. What was maybe a second probably feels like minutes to these two warriors.
• Wand throws a hard right. Sandstorm is playing at 11 in his head.
• Chael ducks, the right barely misses.
• Chael doubles Wand with ease and perfect technique.
• Notice how on the takedown, Chael avoids the guillotine by having his head turned to the side, hitting head and chest only. No Guillotine for Wand. That’s a common street fight mistake.
• As Wand is taken down, he regrets not rolling his knuckles at Chael.
• Both teams rush in to break up the melee. In slow motion, it almost looks like they all converge into a tickle fight.
• Wand throwing elbows from the bottom?
• Vinny Margalhaes!
• Andre Dida, a coach of Wand’s, starts punching Chael Sonnen “to stop the brawl.” That’s like dropping a bomb to end a war I suppose.
• At least nine professional fighters struggle to separate these to MMA legends.
• Finally, Chael emerges from the pile of men shirtless in his fitted jeans. He looks thick, solid, tight. Also calm.
• Perhaps a denim sponsorship is in the future?
• Lonely flip flops are scattered like dead and wounded soldiers on a lost battlefield.
• Wanderlei finally gets up, cracks a slight smile? Sandstorm is still playing in his head.
• Someone says, “It’s not worth it,” to Wand.
• He replies, “Sure it’s worth it.”
• Wand adjusts his toe socks.

While some may look at the relatively easy takedown from Chael, we can’t ignore the fact that Wand just got a first hand schooling of Chael’s game. Wand would be foolish to throw those power shots at Chael now. He knows what’s coming, he just needs to get his temper under control. Be reactive in this fight, Wand. You can do this, but you can’t play into Chael’s game.

I really hope this fight happens…