Cubs selling folding chair that was touched by Masahiro Tanaka’s butt

A new term has entered the lexicon today thanks to the pathetic-ass Chicago Cubs. “Game-used locker room chair.” A folding chair that was once in the Cubs’ locker room is being sold by the team as a piece of valuable memorabilia. Oh oh oh but wait, this isn’t just any “game-used locker room chair,” this one was used by Masahiro Tanaka.

The chair was touched by Masahiro Tanaka’s butt! Behold!

The Cubs can no longer sell their on-field product or their crumbling old stupid ball park, so they’ve resorted to literally selling furniture.

And if the “Masahiro Tanaka’s butt kissed this chair” angle isn’t enough to get you to whip out that Mastercard, the Cubs also want to remind you that this chair was present during Derek Jeter’s final visit to Wrigley Field.

All proceeds from the sale of this chair will go to help the Ricketts family mess up historic Wrigley Field while screwing over the rooftop owners!

The Chicago Cubs are not content with embarrassing themselves on the field and in the front office, they are now inventing new and glorious ways of proving they are the most mickey mouse, pathetic, lame organization in all of sports.

People within the Cubs who actually still love the Cubs should be hitting their knees every day thanking the Lord for Donald Sterling, because he’s the only owner/executive more ridiculous than the group of circus clowns currently responsible for running the Cubs.

It’s a fricking chair! Who cares what pitcher’s sweaty butt parked in it for two minutes?

By the way, is there visual evidence to prove that Tanaka really had his heinder on that chair? I’m not paying for that unless I have proof. I want a picture. Something signed by Tanaka in the presence of witnesses.

Bozos!

(via)

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