Chris Davis hit a walk off home run for the Orioles Monday night, and got the customary pie to the face from teammate Adam Jones.
The pie to the face part isn’t that interesting, but look what the pie did to Chris Davis’ face. With the pie sticking to his face, Chris Davis was transformed from a normal human baseball player into a nightmarish skull-faced horror movie demon.
This image will haunt my dreams forever.
Before I just hated the pie to the face routine because it was stupid and played out, but now I have a deeper, more profound reason to despise the practice. I have now actually been traumatized by a pie to the face.
Who is going to pay for the years of therapy it will take for me to shake this image from my mind? I think I deserve some money. Chris Davis, Adam Jones, Bud Selig…somebody needs to step up and make this right.
I’ve been scarred for life by a traumatic experience, now I wants to get paid. This is America damn it. Where’s my emotional pain pay off?