Miguel Cabrera is 6-4/240 and Jose Altuve is 5-6/175. Cabrera is obviously one of those people who thinks, if he’s way bigger than another guy, that automatically gives him permission to toss the guy around like a rag doll.
Altuve is thinking to himself, “I’m going to eat my vitamins and do my exercises and one of these days…”
Sorry Altuve, but you will never be big enough to manhandle Miguel Cabrera. Unless you get a dose of radiation and become the Hulk. Barring that, you will always be on the receiving end of the big-guy-lifting-up-little-guy greeting. It sucks but it’s just reality.
I personally think this is about the jerkiest move there is, picking up the little guy and smacking him down again. That’s high on the list of creepiest greetings, right up there with the too-firm handshake, the unexpected kiss hello and the neck grab.
The neck grab might be the worst. No, I’m not happy enough to see you that I want you to clutch me by the back of the neck. Keep your damn hands off my neck, thanks very much. You’re lucky I even agree to shake with you.
If I were a little guy like Altuve, I’d probably hate the lift greeting worse. I wouldn’t blame Altuve if he went right after Cabrera’s ankles and tried to bite him. That’s just not cool Cabrera. It’s not his fault his growth was stunted at an early age.