Page one of the Human Body Instruction Manual (Male Edition) reads: NEVER USE YOUR CROTCH AS A GOLF TEE.
The Dallas Stars’ Tyler Seguin must have lost his copy of the instruction manual because he let someone use his crotch as a golf tee.
This happened at Seguin’s golf tournament, presumably with women and children present. What if the guy had missed? What would those innocents have witnessed?
The end of Tyler Seguin’s usefulness to the species, that’s what.
A couple centimeters off and Tyler Seguin is out of the baby-making game forever. He’s singing like Michael Jackson for the rest of his days. He’s shaving his head, grabbing a robe and slinking around the halls of the palace like the Spider.
I’m happy to report that the golfer in the John Daly pants did not miss and Tyler Seguin is able to continue doing anything he wants with his crotch.
But maybe Tyler shouldn’t be allowed to do anything he wants with his crotch, since that includes using it as a frigging golf tee.
I know I know, it’s his crotch, he can offer it up as a tee if he wants. Sorry, but I’m not an absolutist when it comes to crotch freedom. There are some things the law shouldn’t allow and using your crotch as a place to put a golf ball is one of them.
Stop it, dude.