Brett Gardner rocked Yu Darvish for two home runs Monday night, and after the game reporters wanted an explanation from Darvish for how this could possibly happen. How did Brett Gardner get you twice in the same game, Yu Darvish?
Through a translator, Darvish offered this hilarious explanation: It was Gardner’s parents’ fault for creating such a great hitter.
If only the Gardners’ DNA hadn’t come together perfectly to create this formidable hitting machine known as Brett Gardner…
You know what you have to do, Yu Darvish. You have to invent a time machine, go back and prevent Brett Gardner’s parents from ever meeting. But whatever you do, don’t let Biff get his hands on the sports almanac or it will be chaos.
You have to give Yu Darvish points for originality. I don’t think I’ve ever heard that excuse before. “I would have had a good game last night but unfortunately Brett Gardner’s parents once had sex and everything was ruined.”
Well he has a point. You can’t argue with him. Brett Gardner’s parents did create Brett Gardner. So yeah.