What All 30 NHL Teams Asked For This Christmas
By Mike Majeski
Has your favorite NHL team been naughty or nice this year?
With today being Christmas Eve I thought now would be a good time to take a peek into Santa’s workshop and see what all 30 NHL teams asked for Christmas this year. Since the big man could be back any second to get the sleigh ready let’s cut the intro and take a look at the list!
Anaheim Ducks: Consistent goaltending
The Ducks had trouble finding an every-day starter during the playoffs last season and that has appeared to carry over into this season. John Gibson has been injured and is now in the AHL, Frederik Andersen hasn’t exactly been an all-star and now Ilya Bryzgalov has been brought in as a back-up. Has anyone asked Bryz about reindeer?
Arizona Coyotes: An owner who actually wants the team
IceArizona is already looking to flip the team to a new majority owner, except there are no interested buyers. All the Coyotes want for Christmas is someone to actually want them. Don’t we all Coyotes, don’t we all.
Boston Bruins: A mulligan on the Seguin trade
Tyler Seguin currently leads the NHL with 25 goals and is second overall in points (42). Imagine if the Bruins hadn’t gotten trigger happy and let Seguin mature in Boston. Instead the Dallas Stars have reaped the benefits of that trade.
Buffalo Sabres: Connor McDavid
The Sabres are actually trying – despite everyone accusing them of tanking at the start of the season. The fact that they aren’t in last place should be a good enough reason to reward them with the first overall pick in the draft. Please Santa, don’t allow McDavid to go to Edmonton.
Calgary Flames: Luck in the draft lottery
The NHL is making it easier for teams outside of the bottom three to move up in the draft. The Calgary Flames have to hope for some luck as they appear to be one of those teams that will either slip into the playoffs or just miss. Them winning the lottery is a long-shot but that sure would take them from bubble team to contender next season.
Carolina Hurricanes: A healthy Staal
Eric Staal has battled injuries to start the season, while brother Jordan Staal has been out since breaking his fibula in September. The Hurricanes are in last place in the Eastern Conference and could really use both Staal brothers healthy for the remainder of the season.
Chicago Blackhawks: A gift card
What do you get a team that is renting the Rangers big star-acquisition a few years back for $1 million? The Blackhawks pretty much have it all and are in perfect shape for a Stanley Cup run this season. Here, enjoy this gift card and get yourself something real nice.
Colorado Avalanche: New uniforms
They’re terrible. The perfect “ugly Christmas sweater” terrible.
Columbus Blue Jackets: Obamacare
Because holy crap have they had terrible injury luck this season.
Dallas Stars: Goaltending
The Dallas Stars are averaging 3.39 goals against per game, which puts them 29th in the league (only the Edmonton Oilers are worse, who have a 3.40 GAA). It’s the one thing holding the Stars back this season.
Detroit Red Wings: A Mike Babcock extension
We thought it was done earlier this month, but that was a false alarm. Things would fall apart faster than a Kid Rock album for Detroit if Babcock left. Besides, Maple Leafs fans actually think he is destined to coach their team. Even Santa gets a jolly out of dashing Leafs fan’s dreams.
Edmonton Oilers: A star forward who will save our franchise
You’ll shoot your eye out.
Florida Panthers: Some fans
Hey look, the Panthers are good this season and attendance has shown a slight up-swing in December. However, I really would like to see the cats off the “teams that will move to Canada” radar.
Los Angeles Kings: Some new tires for the bandwagon
Sure the Kings appear to be suffering from a bit of a Stanley Cup hangover this season, but isn’t this what they do every year? Slip into the playoffs and then just put the pedal to the metal. I fully expect the Kings and their fans to enjoy another successful playoff run this year.
Minnesota Wild: Defense
The Wild could ask for a goaltender but those are hard to come by (just look at the Ducks trying to give Universe another run and the Blues Brodeur experiment). What the Wild could use right now is a big defenseman who can supplement Ryan Suter.
Montreal Canadiens: Power-Play goals
The Montreal Canadiens could use some improvement on the power-play. They currently rank 23rd in the NHL with a 15.3 PP%, just behind the Winnipeg Jets and ahead of the Colorado Avalanche. Not exactly the type of company the Canadiens want.
Nashville Predators: A lighter load for Pekka Rinne
Right now Pekka Rinne and the defense are what’s carrying the weight in Nashville. The Predators power-play percentage sits at 11.3%, better than only the Buffalo Sabres. Their 2.76 goals per game puts them at 17th overall. With the hiring of offensively-minded head coach Peter Laviolette there was hope that the Predators would put up better numbers on offense.
New Jersey Devils: The abolishment of the shootout
Seriously, the Devils are terrible in the shootout. Bring back ties, or go to 3 on 3 OT – anything but the shootout.
New York Islanders: A state-of-the-art arena made for hockey
Barclay’s is going to be great – if you can get past the blacked out end and the off-center scoreboard. I feel like Islanders fans are going to quickly miss the excellent site lines of Nassau Coliseum.
New York Rangers: The Blue Jackets that went to LA
Sure Rick Nash has been great, but it seems Columbus sends the best stuff to the Los Angeles Kings.
Ottawa Senators: Stability
After head coach Paul MacLean was fired the Senators went 3-1-1 under new coach Dave Cameron, including a big 6-2 win over the Anaheim Ducks. The Senators followed that up by being outscored by a combined score of 6-2 by the Washington Capitals and the Montreal Canadiens. Cameron has the team playing better, now they just need to do it consistently.
Philadelphia Flyers: Calder-Trophy winning Steve Mason
A Christmas miracle.
Pittsburgh Penguins: A cure for mumps
No explanation needed.
San Jose Sharks: One free five-game lead in a playoff series
The only way the Sharks wouldn’t collapse in the first round.
St. Louis Blues: The trap
If you can’t bring 1995-era Martin Brodeur back, why not bring 1995 back to Marty?
Tampa Bay Lightning: A personal body-guard for Steven Stamkos
Let’s take no chances after last year’s knee injury. If anyone so much as breathes on Stamkos I want enforcers jumping in like the Secret Service.
Toronto Maple Leafs: A quilt made from all the jerseys that have hit the ice
To serve as a reminder of how irrational Maple Leafs fans can be sometimes.
Vancouver Canucks: John Tortorella
Yeah they’re better without Torts behind the bench and that experiment was a one year failure – but weren’t Canucks games more fun to watch when there was always an impending Tortorella melt down brewing?
Washington Capitals: Props for Trotz
Finally someone figured out how to get Ovechkin to play defense!
Winnipeg Jets: A playoff birth
Winnipeg has some of the loudest and most creative fans in the NHL, the Stanley Cup Playoffs in Winnipeg would be an amazing spectacle to witness and I only hope it happens soon.