What each NBA coach would be doing if he wasn’t an NBA coach
By John Buhler
Work is hard, especially being an NBA head coach. If each NBA head coach had to do something else for a living, this is probably what he would be doing instead.
It’s not easy being an NBA head coach. You have to wear a suit and tie and yell instructions at a bunch of gifted athletes that aren’t always going to listen to you. At any given time, half of your metro area wants you out of a job, or at least that’s what we hear on local sports talk on the morning drive. That medium is never wrong.
However, basketball is life for these 30 NBA coaches. For most of them, they’d rather do nothing else than to coach at the highest level. That being said, what if being an NBA coach wasn’t in the cards for these 30 gentlemen? What on earth would they be doing for a living instead?
Sure, some would be more successful than others, but we have to believe that all would be living impactful lives across the country doing whatever it is they do instead of coaching in the NBA. Let’s see where this alternate universe takes us, probably down the same wormhole where Bill Walton is The President of the United States of America as a member of the Green Party. And here we go!
Kenny Atkinson: EVP of Sales, Gulfstream
Kenny Atkinson was going places on the hardwood. Atkinson had ample Division I offers to play point guard, but his AAU team had one last tournament to play in Indianapolis. The dozen players and their families on Long Island’s Finest made the mistake of flying on an economy airline.
Atkinson HATED that round trip from LaGuardia to Indianapolis and back. “Never again,” he said, as Atkinson would put his promising basketball career on the back burner to focus his attention on something more important than Michael Jordan. Atkinson decided that he was NEVER going to fly commercial again and neither should anybody with money.
Out of school, Atkinson took a job in the sales department for Gulfstream. He successfully negotiated more jet sales than everybody in the entire sales department combined. Was doing time shares on Gulfstream jets slightly unethical? Whatever. Atkinson made more sales than Bill Brasky and was eventually able to buy Gulfstream from Gulfstream.
When asked if he wanted to be CEO of Gulfstream by his former employer, Atkinson said, “No, I just want to sell jets!” Technically, Atkinson is the CEO of Gulfstream, but prefers his title of EVP of Sales, Gulfstream.
His is by far the most lucrative of the 30 alternative careers were about to analyze. Atkinson made more money doing his own Catalina Wine Mixer than the Huff Brothers did. He can now buy the Indiana Pacers from Herb Simon and pay a premium to do so. The irony is that Indianapolis is where he first hated flying commercial. All the more reason for him to buy the Pacers to prove a point.
Currently, Atkinson has a deal in place with Simon to purchase the Pacers. His only request is to re-name the club to the Indianapolis Jets, because North America needs a third professional sports team with that nickname. The Jets will begin the 2017-18 NBA season playing at Gulfstream Fieldhouse in downtown Indianapolis.