Does Anybody Actually Want the Tennessee Vols Coaching Job?

Mandatory Credit: Randy Sartin-USA TODAY Sports
Mandatory Credit: Randy Sartin-USA TODAY Sports /
Mandatory Credit: Randy Sartin-USA TODAY Sports
Mandatory Credit: Randy Sartin-USA TODAY Sports /

The Tennessee Volunteers have been at the forefront of some pretty juicy coaching rumors, but like that super hot girl in high school they’ve all been nothing but teases. From Jon Gruden to Jimbo Fisher and everyone in between, it seems that no one actually wants to coach the Volunteers.

Two more possible candidates have taken their names out of the hat, as Oklahoma State head coach Mike Gundy has stated he is not leaving his program to accept a job at Tennessee. Louisville head coach Charlie Strong also stated yesterday night that he won’t be heading to the SEC either and will instead stay put with the Cardinals.

Now that at least four candidates have flat out said no to them including one without an actual coaching job at the moment, an interesting question is raised: does anyone really want to coach Tennessee or do they just like being desired?

When the Vols fired Derek Dooley, they assumed that the Volunteer history and the promise of playing in the SEC would lure at least one viable candidate or big name to their school. The Vols are coming off some harsh sanctions brought on by the one year Lane Kiffin spent there, and they’re in desperate need of rebuilding after the destruction.

Plus they play in the most popular conference in college football, which affords them a chance to get back on top quicker than most schools may be able to. The only thing holding them back is a good coach, and apparently none of them are interested.

The Vols coaching search is going through stages: first stage is the stage where you think everybody wants you. You walk into the party, the music is pumping, people are feeling good and you think every sexy, scantly-clad women present wants to bed you. Then they all look at you and walk away like you’re the guys from A Night At the Roxbury and you slowly realize you’re not that great.

Panic mode hasn’t set in and you’re still not ready to settle for the last girl on the bar-line, but you begin to see that could very well be the outcome of of you’re night out. That’s exactly where Tennessee is right now, none of the top-tier women want them, and it’s starting to snowball from there.

That’s not a terrible thing however, but Tennessee has set the bar so incredibly high by flaunting out names like Gruden, Fisher, Gundy, and all the other names that this search is quickly looking like a disaster even though it’s not.

Sure, a big name has the chance to rebound the program quicker, but it’s high risk, high reward.

If the Vols were to settle for a lesser known name, things could still work out in their favor — it just might take a little longer. But by swinging and missing so fast and so hard, the Volunteers are making this a situation that whoever steps in, no matter how big or small the name is, it’s a high risk, medium reward type deal.

And nobody wants to get tangled in that mess.