AFC East
The season couldn’t start soon enough for Tom Brady, time to feast on dysfunctional, terrible teams
Take away the QB controversy, the headband, the mustache, the butt fumble, the media meltdowns, the locker room dissent and the injuries and some people might think this Jets team is a young team on the rise . . . seriously. >>>READ MORE
AFC West
Denver stands atop a mountain of trash
This year the Bolts will take another step toward their prophesized destiny, as foretold by Ron Burgundy, and become the whale’s vagina. Frankly, that outlook is more optimistic than what’s likely to happen on the field. The team is a combo of old and injured across the board and is trending downward. Philip Rivers is a turnover machine stuck in jackpot-payout mode and he’s playing behind one of the worst lines in the league. But the AFC West is weak enough that the Chargers could easily sneak their way to 7-9, maybe 8-8, and play themselves out of the top five pick they desperately need.
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AFC South
Houston’s desperate Super Bowl hopes, new eras everywhere else
Mike Munchak needs results in his third season as he helms a once-steady franchise that hasn’t been to the playoffs since 2008. There’s been smoke but it’s been coupled with mirrors and not fire, as Munchak won nine games and six games, respectively, during his first two years in control. Now he’s built a sea wall of lineman, drafting Alabama stud Chance Warmack in the first round and bringing in Andy Levitre from Buffalo. The team will be top five in rushing attempts. One never trusts the Titans receivers because they all look the same in their clunky, fairly ridiculous uniforms. Their turn-of-the-century success has overshadowed the fact that they are the Toronto Raptors of the NFL in terms of dated unis rooted in the ’90s. But no matter how funny it would be, Tyrone Calico is not walking through that door, Titans fans. >>>READ MORE
AFC North
Put your money where Ohio is
Does anyone realize how goddamned dominant Geno Atkins really is? This dude commands a double-team and still terrorizes opposing backfields. He’s one of the best players in the league that doesn’t sell jerseys. The “Hard Knocks” team of this year has gotten a lot more attention than they’re used to. To me, Cincinnati is the strong favorite to win the AFC North. We know what we’re getting with the impeccable chemistry between Andy Dalton and A.J. Green. Mohammed Sanu could blossom into the second receiver the Bengals have been looking for to alleviate the double-teams on Green. There are position battles with young guns challenging at running back, where Giovani Bernard looks a bit more spry than the steady Law Firm, and tight end, where high pick Tyler Eifert should become a red zone receiving threat and unseat the disappointing Jermaine Gresham. >>>READ MORE