It’s April and that means two things:
1) Baseball season is upon us! It’s finally here!
2) April is National Poetry Month!
In my unending quest to bring both fantasy baseball wisdom and cultural awareness to the masses, I will be combining two of my favorite things, and doing all waiver wire articles over the next few weeks in verse.
Without further ado, the hitter and pitcher you should be picking up this week:
» Kole Calhoun – OF, Los Angeles Angels (31.9% owned on ESPN.com)
Have an outfield hole? Look no further than Kole
Who had all the skills and just needed the role.
He makes some good contact: over 80 percent
And he walks his fair share, so hence his ascent
To the top of the lineup and there is no doubt
He’ll score 100 runs in front of Mike Trout.
His first week of foes leaves me much uninspired:
For the Mariners’ pitching leaves much more desired.
And right after that, Calhoun’s Angels embark
To Houston to miniscule Minute Maid Park.
I predict Lucas Harrell bent over a barrel
And poor Dallas Keuchel in schoolgirl apparel.
Scott Feldman? Most likely the best of the bunch.
But ol’ Cowboy Kole will still eat his lunch.
Invest in Calhoun while you still have the chance
Read this sleeper post, then get ready to dance!
» Scott Kazmir – SP, Oakland A’s (7.9% owned on ESPN.com)
Did you draft Clayton Kershaw or Yu Darvish my friends?
Do you wait while Mat Latos or Mike Minor mends?
Is your DL is full? With a roster spot open
You scour the waiver wire, wishing and hoping
For a free agent hurler with nine K per nine —
There’s a man not on most teams, but he sure is on mine!
I’m speaking of course of one Scott Kazmir,
I told you to draft him not long ago, here.
Last year, post-break, he was a true ace:
Low WHIP and low FIP and 200 K pace,
But he still gets no love — to me it’s a mystery.
Is it because of his injury history?
Do you hate yellow? Do you hate green?
Do you hate lefties? Do you hate Billy Beane?
Do you hate a strikeout to walk ratio
Of almost three and a half? Well, do you?
(Say no.)
Just give him a try, his first four starts are nice:
The Indians, Astros, and Mariners twice!
His upside’s among the league’s leaders of Ks.
The downside — you drop him in just a few days.
For the last time I say:
Pick him up today!
Or someone else will by the second of May.