Lazy List Sunday: Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re a
By Joe Nardone
For those unaware, this is the first edition of FanSided’s Lazy List Sunday. What is Lazy List Sunday, you ask? Well, it is a bad idea (by me), that I used to do back in the day (for a blog no one read), which my bosses were nice (and naive) enough to let me do here.
Basically, LLS is the abomination of souls. The laziness of all of us on a Sunday, sometimes hungover, because no one wants to read think-pieces while recovering from a bottle of Jack.
So, um, yeah. It is a combination of you (and likely I) being too messed up from the night before, me not wanting to try, and you hoping to get a single giggle out of your Sunday Funday.
Today’s topic is Donald Sterling. You know, the racist. Except, because Inception, he isn’t a racist. Why? Because Anderson Cooper is a racist.
Sterling went on CNN, that way only people in airports can view it, to talk to Anderson Cooper about being a bigot. While the interview was a train wreck throughout, my personal highlight of the face-to-face was Donald Sterling not only saying he was not a racist, but that Cooper is more a racist than he.
Because, seriously, nothing says racism more than a socially liberal, openly gay, publicly pro everyone’s rights, Anderson Cooper.
So if this were to be true. If Cooper was indeed more a racist than Sterling. What does that mean? Welp…
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re a Toyota Corolla.
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re a believer in Justin Bieber.
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re anxiously awaiting a lobster to mate with a unicorn.
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re a person who strongly believes in Miley > Whitney.
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re a type a fella who likes to drink lukewarm milk.
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re pro streetwalker management unionizing.
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re a sucker for senior citizen explicit videos.
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re against a Ghostbusters 3.
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re a millionaire (unless you are, jerk).
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re a scavenger of worlds, eater of souls, and bringer of death.
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re a racist.
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re a Donald Sterling enthusiast.
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re a person who read every one of these.
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re into the Green Power Ranger on a different kind of level.
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re Tommy, the Green Power Ranger.
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re dating Shelly Sterling.
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re a member of the Phil Mushnick is a baby raper faction.
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re not done reading this yet.
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re a donut.
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re the missing circle part of the donut.
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re George Carlin.
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re a Marty Jannetty > HBK person.
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re a person minus their medication.
Donald Sterling is not a racist and you’re unable to see really tiny print.
Now go kick your spouse, kiss your pet, and finish being hungover. Sunday Funday can’t start until you’re out of bed, done reading one bad list article and full of booze.
I mean, hey, at least it wasn’t a slideshow. Right? RIGHT!
RIGHT?!?!
Go get’em, Tiger!
But not Woods. You stay home.