Give it a rest MLB, baseball is a game

This week, we’ve learned that Major League Baseball has chosen its three finalists for the reality show known as “Who Will Replace Bud Selig As Commissioner!”  The choice is between Tim Brosnan, MLB’s executive vice president of business, Boston Red Sox chairman Tom Werner, and Rob Manfred, MLB’s COO.

Now, all three are fine candidates with a vast knowledge of the inner workings of baseball as a business. But to whomever succeeds Selig as commish, please make the following note:

Baseball is a game. Please treat it as such.

Tuesday, we saw the powers that be within MLB send a notice out to shut down the Los Angeles Dodgers’ bubble machine celebration. I’m sure it was delivered by a crow and written in blood. The “bubble ban” was quickly lifted the next day, but, in a sport where ridiculous celebrations are common place, bringing a bubble machine out to celebrate a home run or walk off victory seems tame by comparison to some of the other things we’ve seen — especially by the Dodgers. So you have to wonder if this was just a momentary lapse in stuffy judgement that was quickly realized and rectified, or was this a sign of things to come?

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Most teams still pummel the crap out of a guy at home after he hits a walkoff. A recent trend has risen on several teams to completely rip the jersey to shreds off the superstar player in that moment of glory. In my opinion, that is more disrespectful than anything considering at the very least the funds that could be raised for charity by auctioning that jersey off instead of destroying it, but by all means keep doing it if it makes you happy. Martin Prado of the Yankees and formerly the D-Backs showers his teammates in dirt, water, bubblegum, ice, and anything else he can find during a walk off celebration. It gets messy, but it makes for memorable moments.

We’ve seen standoffs this season before games that lasted well into the first pitch, we’ve seen more pranks than ever before including a real life hot foot, and we’ve even seen drunk supermodels throw out the first pitch. Baseball can be boring, but these things are the spice that keeps it interesting. This is what makes an otherwise long night at the ballpark fun.

During the tenure of Bud Selig, several changes were made to the game. Some were needed very much, some were not. But during his time as commissioner, baseball became very serious. He directly intervened with the Astros during the playoffs on several occasions, he made questionable decisions in regards to the Dodgers that are still effecting their fans’ ability to watch games on television, and he attached the worst stipulation in sports history to the All Star game with the winning league receiving home field advantage in the World Series.  I still to this day can’t believe we saw baseball players testify before Congress, but that is an example of the reality that is MLB over the last 20 years.

Baseball, like most sports, is for entertainment purposes. However, it has grown into such a large entity that even the government has felt the need to get involved with regulating it. If you start taking yourself too seriously when it comes to things like celebrations and dugout pranks, interest with young fans especially can die off quickly.

There are much bigger concerns for you to deal with, such as the conditions of the ballpark of one of the best teams in baseball or the ongoing saga with performance enhancing drugs. Focus your time and efforts on that and don’t sweat the small stuff like people trolling Hunter Pence with hilarious signs or fans at the Great American Ball Park using their phones to communicate with aliens.

But if you want to ban something in Los Angeles, ban Andre Ethier from punching his own teammates in the dick when they hit a walkoff. I’m sure most of them would appreciate that.