WWE SummerSlam 2014 Report: Brock Lesnar defeats John Cena, saves us all

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Rob Van Dam faces off against Cesaro in the pre-show. Photo credit: WWE.com

Cesaro is sacrificed to RVD in the pre-show, but it’s fine. 

As much as I love Cesaro, I can be realistic about where he is right now. The WWE doesn’t have him involved in any story of worth. Further, there really wasn’t any other storyline that would allow for a pre-show match as well.

The solution: throw out a well-known babyface that your live crowds love and pair him with a worker that will deliver great spots to get the crowd hot. By the way, the other side of that coin is the heel will likely lose.

That’s pretty much what Cesaro and RVD put out there. There was some incredible spots from Cesaro, including an insane Swiss Death Uppercut to counter a Five Star Frog Splash, and RVD got to do his usual spots and finisher en route to a victory. The only real annoyance was that the match got interrupted by a Cena/Lesnar promo right in the middle.

All I can hope is that Cesaro gets some creative direction now that SummerSlam is done.

Thanks for wasting our time, Hulk. I want some of my $9.99 back. Photo credit: WWE.com

Hogan wastes everyone’s time for the low price of $9.99!

Hogan coming out to do a quick promo initially made a lot of sense. Want to get a wrestling crowd super-hype? Throw out the most popular wrestler ever.

It doesn’t matter how smarky or snarky you get, if you are there live, you can’t help but pop for the Hulkster. I know from experience, I remember getting pissed that I missed Hulk while in the slowest beer line of all time at TNA’s Slammiversary a couple years ago and I couldn’t stand seeing him on TV.

However, he quickly transitioned into a WWE Network shill and all nostalgia died. The people watching the show by this point likely have the WWE Network so the market the WWE reaching is incredibly tiny. I don’t understand the logic of doing this. Is it to work people like me to rant about this and spread the word on the internet?

If so, kudos to working me, I guess. But please, if you’re going to beat me upside the head with $9.99 on RAW, WWE, leave the PPVs alone.