Diamondbacks’ Alfredo Marte has difficulty navigating the bullpen mound (GIF)

Feb 19, 2014; Scottsdale, AZ, USA; Arizona Diamondbacks outfielder Alfredo Marte poses for a portrait during photo day at Salt River Field. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports
Feb 19, 2014; Scottsdale, AZ, USA; Arizona Diamondbacks outfielder Alfredo Marte poses for a portrait during photo day at Salt River Field. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports /
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Alfredo Marte knows what he would like to do with the bullpen mounds in San Francisco. It involves a backhoe and a rocket.

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Actually, it’s totally Marte’s fault that he has to get involved with those mounds in the first place. If he doesn’t Yasiel Puig the ball to begin with, the mound doesn’t come into play at all.

Just bend over a little bit farther and field the ball properly, then you don’t have to chase the ball all over the bullpen mound and end up falling on your face like a dumbo.

We all know the story of how the bullpen mounds ended up there in San Francisco, right? They designed the whole stadium and when they started to build, realized they’d forgotten to add bullpens.

It was too late to redraw the blueprint so they had to stick the bullpens on the field like Wrigley.

Yeah, great job guys. Alfredo Marte really loves you.

[GIF Via @Triples_Alley]