De-Dean-eration-X is here!
So this past weekend, I binge-watched a lot of the Monday Night Wars on the WWE Network. As I stated earlier, I was a huge WCW fan as a kid. I didnāt start jumping ship from Nitro 1999-2000ish and I was in high school. So by the time I was regularly tuning into RAW, the DX that I watched wasnāt the original HHH, Shawn Michaels, and Chyna trio. In watching the DX-centric episode, I got a great ābest ofā exposure to just how crazy HHH and Michaels were and how much more over the top it was in comparison to the DX I knew.
As I watched this entire Dean Ambrose segment, I couldnāt help but think constantly that this would be something that the original DX would come out and do. Sure, it wasnāt as racy as the duo that helped launched the Attitude Era, but it had all of the same āI donāt give a damnā rebel feel the entire way through.
I mean, just look at how the segment starts: Dean Ambrose sets up a clearance sale of stolen WWE merchandise just for the hell of it. While doing so, he makes fun of the wrestlers gear that heās pulling out. āOh this ridiculous Cena shirt? Thatās worth $1, any takers? Goodness, Sheamus gearā¦eh, anyone got a quarter?ā
Out comes Noble Mercury to confront Ambrose and the first thing out of his mouth is one of the most hilarious things Iāve heard a WWE star say in some time: āThey sent the cruiserweight division out to stopĀ me.ā What makes that line DX-like genius was that DX would continuously throw āinsiderā barbs at the folks they were insulting. They didnāt break the fourth wall, but if you knew what was going on you could see that they were poking some holes in it while nodding and winking at you the whole time.
At one point in WWE history, Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury were pretty much most of the WWEās tiny cruiserweight division. So the joke is certainly funny to anyone in the audience at face value, but to people that have been watching and paying attention for some time, the joke absolutely slays.
Dean Ambrose does this same trick again when he examines the security guards and wonders if they werenāt Rosebuds last week. It probably isnāt true, but we know the WWE fills roles like security guards and Rosebuds with random local talent, so itās not like itās out of the question and because of that, we laugh.
But anyways, DX Dean is out there flinging insults at everyone and throwing merchandise thatĀ he admits he stoleĀ into the crowd and even throws his bag into the crowd because why the hell not. Seth comes out all pissed and Dean, now done with his WWE Shop fire-sale backs down and letās Rollins have his briefcase.
And Rollins is just standing over this thing and is almost afraid to open it in public after Dean Ambrose implied there might some kinky and strange things in there. Instead, Rollins opens the case and is hit with a slime bomb as if he screwed up in a Double Dare game on Nickelodoen. Here I am, damn near 30, laughing my ass off like Iām 12 years old at a grown man covered in slime and another grown man with the goofiest smile on his face for pulling off a kidās prank.
The briefcase gag didnāt stop there either. In the next segment, the Authority hears a strange vibrating noise. Everyone checks their phones, but no oneās ringing. All eyes go to the briefcase and you can immediately see all the wheels turning in their heads with āoh dear God, what did Dean Ambrose find in that thing?ā and everyone is just deathly afraid to check the case. An angry Seth enters, chastises them all for having their minds in the gutter, and says itās just an electric razor.
Again, Iām dying of DX-styled humor. The setup for the joke couldnāt have been more perfect. Itās like those veiled adult jokes in kidās movies aimed at the parents they know that are stuck in the audience. All of a sudden, youāre laughing harder than the child sitting next to you and they just arenāt quite sure why you think the joke is that great. Even better, you donāt have to explain the joke to the child. To them, they think itās slightly funny that Seth had an electric razor buzzing in his case and the Authority was just confused as to what it was, but to you, your dirty adult mind thought there was a vibrating sex toy in there and you just canāt stop laughing at that thought.
āWhy was that so funny, dad?ā
āEh, youāll understand when youāre older.ā
/kid remains convinced his dadās insane until heās an adult and totally understands
The WWE can give us tastes of the Attitude Era in this PG world. Right now, Dean Ambrose is the embodiment of that once thought to be impossible goal and he can do it with his eyes closed. Dean Ambrose is simply must-see TV just like DX was.