Hardwood Paroxysm: How we’d fix the NBA
The NBA is great, and we’re all looking forward to the start of what should be a fantastic regular season. But it could be better, you know? There are little things about the league and the game that prevent it from being the perfect piece of art that it could be. Here, then, are our proposals for making the NBA a little bit better — and a lot more fun. They’re all tongue-in-cheek to varying degrees, but they’d all unquestionably make for a more entertaining product. This is how you fix the NBA.
Eliminate the opening tip
By Daniel Lewis (@minutemandan)
The opening tip is a waste of time. Unless your point guard has a personality like Rajon Rondo, it’s just a bunch of high fives, death glares, and an opportunity for the centers to see how high they can jump.
Rather than having a tip-off, the NBA should embrace outside-the-box ways of deciding who gets the ball first. In honor of the statistical revolution of the game, perhaps an assistant GM from each team can come down to center court and roll a 20-sided die to see who gets the ball first. Or play Cones of Dunshire.
If the NBA wants to appeal to the social media aspect of the league, whichever team can get the most retweets with the appropriate team-related hashtag wins the game. This would be incredibly important in overtime, where fan interaction could help decide who scores first and gains the all-important momentum for the extra period. Late-night West Coast tilts between non-playoff teams might be decided by a handful of dedicated, bleary-eyed fans. The NBA: it’s FAAAAAAAAAAAN-tastic!
Many NBA players are aspiring musical artists as well. I wouldn’t mind seeing two players step up to the mic and have a SFW rap battle – they rap, judges decide the winner and who “wins the tip.”
Finally, while mascots do little more than provide entertainment that will hopefully quell the beginning of the wave, they could be used to help decide who wins the tip as well. A dunk contest between mascots to start the game would not only help get fans into the arena on time, but would produce some thrilling displays of athleticism. Just like the Slam Dunk Contest at the All-Star Game, props would be allowed, encouraged, and available for sponsorship. Or perhaps a 1-on-1 mascot game to 21 might be more your fancy?
The NBA is missing out on extra revenue; just think of the advertising opportunities for one of these new opening tip ideas. So it’s time, Commissioner Silver – revolutionize the opening tip and help change the game for the better.