Shane Battier Butchers A Billy Joel Song (Video)

Retired NBA player Shane Battier was charged with announcing an upcoming Billy Joel concert at American Airlines Arena. He made that announcement by singing a Billy Joel song…kinda.

You might be thinking to yourself: I haven’t seen nearly as many flops or looks of false indignation in the NBA this season. Say, what is Shane Battier up to, anyway?

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The longtime, reliable Battier is now enjoying retirement, though he still has a role with the league. He is an ambassador for the Miami Heat, which kind of sounds like a well-deserved, cushy, made-up position. But hey, good for him, and given how articulate and funny Battier is, he is probably quite good at his job.

Part of his responsibilities gave him the opportunity this week to announce an upcoming Billy Joel concert. Given any number of options to get creative with said announcement, Battier decided to sing some Billy Joel himself. Live. In front of actual humans.

Darn it if Shane Battier isn’t charming, but the guy maybe shouldn’t be singing. See and hear for yourself:

Granted: this is not bad for a retired athlete. It’s not bad for any citizen who is not a musician. It is certainly better than I could do, but that doesn’t mean Battier should be doing it either. Shane Battier would be better than me at a lot of things, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. This is Billy Joel we are talking about, after all.

I’m just glad there wasn’t a stiff breeze in the arena at any point during the announcement, or Battier would have flopped right off that piano bench.

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