Former MLB player Jose Canseco made some predictions for 2015 that pretty much run in line with what we’d expect from Jose Canseco.
As the poster boy for steroid use in the MLB, Jose Canseco has been doing pretty well for himself, as long as maintaining a full hand of ten fingers isn’t a prerequisite for ‘doing pretty well’.
At the very least, he still has the most entertaining Twitter account in all of the land, as evidenced his latest diatribe, in which Canseco made ten bold predictions for 2015.
1. Life will be discovered on Mars
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 2, 2015
Dude, David Bowie beat you to that one.
2. @JebYork chokes on silver spoon, Lott new owner, hires Jimbo, 49ers win super bowl.
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 2, 2015
Does he mean Jimbo Fisher? Surely he doesn’t. He can’t. Well, this is Jose. Never mind, he absolutely means Seminoles coach Jimbo Fisher without irony, we presume.
3. Ford Model @JosieCanseco is on cover of Vogue
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 2, 2015
Are we the only ones who find it creepy that Jose is promoting his daughter as a model? Is that normal? We’ll let the dads chime in on this one.
4. @BarackObama wins lead role in new NBC sitcom Old Urkel
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 2, 2015
5. Peace in middle east. Israel accepts trade of 200 miles of Ocean for West Bank Palestine nation. Jerusalem new UN city state
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 2, 2015
Oddly, this one led to some of the nastiest comments. Make fun of the President all you want, but DO NOT yearn for peace in the middle east, you curmudgeon!
6. Elon Musk brings the McFly Hoverboard to market
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 2, 2015
8. First live interview of extra terrestrial on TV. Barbara Walters does it
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 2, 2015
Wait, what happened to number seven?
9. New Telomere extension surgery centers open for anti and reverse ageing
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 2, 2015
10. Bud Selig accidentally shoots his finger off
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 2, 2015
Zing! Canseco with the big blast to finish off his
ten
nine predictions for 2015. Apparently he just deleted number seven because that’s what Jose does from time to time.
As for the remaining nine predictions, well what else is there to say? Jose Canseco simply sees the world through a different lens than you, me or anyone else. That’s just what makes his Twitter one of the best in all of the world. You never know what you’ll get from it, but you do know that you won’t be disappointed.
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